All posts by katrina

Stop Trying to Get the Most Out of Your Space

For years I hated the plastic bins under my bed. There was something cluttered and frustrating about it that I couldn’t identify. It was strange because to anyone else the space would have seemed very organized. All the objects were intentionally sorted. The bed was just over 54 inches wide, so there was the perfect amount of space for a couple rows of 18 inch bins directly in front of 36 inch bins. Everything was in a bin, and every bin fit under the bed. I was making the most of the space available, so what was the problem?

After years of slowly downsizing my possessions, I was able to permanently get rid of enough stuff that I no longer needed the 18 inch bins. I still used the bigger bins under my bed for storage, but suddenly I was happy about it. Suddenly it seemed right, suddenly it worked. Suddenly I had several inches on either side of the bed for just…space. Nothing was sticking out at all, and the remaining bins were barely visible when I walked into the room. I could slide them in and out easily because there was a little extra wiggle room. There was more space for my toes when I was changing the sheets. That seemingly empty space was still being used, but for action and activity rather than objects. I didn’t realize that the space I had been using for storage was space I needed to live my life.

When I’m touring a client’s home for the first time they often point out a few places that they are hoping to “utilize better”. What this often means is they want to be able to fit more stuff into a spot that is awkward and difficult to use, such as a very high shelf or tricky corner cabinet. But sometimes those awkward and difficult spaces are not meant to be filled. Because the space isn’t ideal, leaving a little extra room is the only way you’ll be able to see what you have and grab what you need easily. The more you pack stuff in, the harder it becomes to use any of that stuff. There is value in empty space.

There will be times where circumstances dictate that you have to Tetris a space to make it work, where the amount of items you need to keep just barely fit into the space available, and there’s no practical way for you to keep these items anywhere else or change the furniture or space to better accommodate them. But in those times, know that you are making a choice. You are saying that the current volume of stuff is worth more to you than being able to live with it easily. You would rather keep all your current possessions even if it means that every time you need one thing you have to pull three things out. There are times when this is the right choice. The important thing is to never let it be your default choice. Don’t assume that the solution to an awkward space is to figure out the best way to use every square inch of it. The solution may be to store less in that space, either by moving lesser-used items to less-convenient areas, or preferably by having fewer items in general.

Empty space is what allows you to eat dinner at your table every night. It’s what allows you to sit several feet away from your TV screen and enjoy a movie. Empty space is what hallways and backyards are made of. The empty space of your home is the only part you ever actually get to live in. Protect it, honor it, make room for it.

Alcove by Michael Johansson
Alcove by Swedish Artist Michael Johansson

Six Unbalanced Areas of Your Life

As I try to navigate my way through living in a pandemic, I often feel like everything I need to do is of equal value, and therefore all of it is worth doing right now. I need to check my work email, but I also need to do my laundry, I need to exercise a little, I need to make myself lunch, I need to respond to the email from yesterday, I need to write my novel, I need to finish that TV series I started, etc. I allow all of these items to be equal in my mind, all of them feeling like they are what I should be doing and also what I should be putting off in favor of something else. And if I spend all day doing one type of thing and ignoring all others (or staying paralyzed and doing nothing), I feel terrible and wonder where my time went.

We’re all familiar with the idea of work/life balance, but that is not the only scale on which activity can be measured. Here are some other categories of distinction I’ve found useful to consider:

1. Complex vs Routine
How much fresh brain power do you need?

Complex: create a gardening plan, figure out a computer backups solution, write a novel, learn a new recipe, run a meeting

Routine: weed the yard, fix breakfast, read a book, do a puzzle, attend a meeting that could have been an email

2. Fun vs Practical
Is there a purpose beyond your own present happiness?

Fun: watch TV, play a video game, chat with friends or coworkers, bake something that isn’t good for you

Practical: reorganize the garage, clear out your email, sort through digital photos, meal prep for the week

3. Reactive vs Proactive
Are you doing this because you want to or because someone/something else is prompting you?

Reactive: return a phone call, buy a baby shower gift, sew a button back on a shirt, fix the lawn mower

Proactive: learn to quilt, start a new TV show, change a process in the office, build a shed

4. Maintain vs Accomplish
Once you do the work, will it be done or will you need to do it again (in the next five years)?

Maintain: practice an instrument, do the laundry, clean the kitchen, exercise, submit expense report

Complete: fix the dryer, create an emergency kit, buy a new desk, get all power moons in Mario Odyssey

5. Family vs Self
Would you still be doing this if you lived alone?

Family: cook for others, play with children, book appointment for a parent, have family game night, discuss partner’s work troubles

Self: work on a hobby, learn a new language, complain about your work troubles to a friend

6. Taxing vs Restorative
Over time, does it fill you up or wear you down?

Taxing: scroll social media, do physical labor, teach children to do anything, write a difficult email

Restorative: journal, take a bath, watch a movie with someone you love, clear off your desk

 

You’ll notice that no side of these scales is the “correct” side, or even the enjoyable or easy one. Each side is potentially negative if you spend too much time there. Spend too much time on accomplishment over maintenance and things will fall apart. Spend too much time on family over self and you might lose your sense of identity.

Every item exists on multiple scales at once. For example Family Game Night is routine, fun, proactive, maintenance, family, and either taxing or restorative depending on whether you’re introverted or extroverted (and how competitive your family is).

You probably keep a good balance in some of these areas already, and you probably have a suspicion about which one(s) you are routinely unbalanced in. If you’re unsure, take your current task list (the FULL one that includes home, work, longterm, etc) and try to sort the items into the two sides of one of these areas. Repeat until you find a category so unbalanced you can’t ignore it, and focus on adjusting the ratio for that one.

Depending on the person, balance doesn’t necessarily mean equal tasks on both sides. I’m a pretty ambitious and goal-oriented person, which means I can skew more towards practical over fun because oftentimes practical things are fun to me. But if I have 25 things on the Practical side and 2 on the Fun side, even I can admit I’ve gone too far.

Remember that balancing yourself out is not always about adding more to your plate – it may require things to be taken away. This is especially true right now as you are under so much stress. If you’re currently working, you might need to compensate for the kind of tasks you do at work. If your day job involves a lot of complex tasks, you might need to focus on more routine tasks in your home life to prevent exhaustion. If your job is mostly routine tasks you may want to look for complex things to ensure your days are fulfilling.

This is not about becoming hyper-productive while sheltering at home or “getting the most out of your quarantine”. It’s about keeping a sense of rhythm when other rhythms are lost. You would never insist that a friend spend all day sorting photos or all day pulling weeds. Remember to be at least that kind to yourself.

The Duration

On March 2nd I spent the morning listening to the greatest hits of 1918. Coronavirus concerns had just started to get serious in Seattle, and many people were drawing comparisons to the 1918 flu (often referred to as The Spanish Flu despite its American origin). I thought listening to the songs might give me some perspective about how much things had changed since humanity’s last great pandemic. More than anything, listening to it gave me the reassuring thought, “Hey, at least we’re not also fighting World War I.”

As a society, we don’t experience war quite like we used to. Modern wars that are fought overseas have less impact on the daily lives of many Americans. We’ve separated ourselves into a class of people effected by war, and a class that is not. But a disease is different. It is not limited by wealth, class, or race. This is a fight from which no one, quite literally, is immune.

They used to use the phrase “the duration” a lot during the world wars. Because the war really did effect your everyday life, you could apply it to any change that was intended to last the duration of the war. It’s helpful, because it allows you to declare an indefinite change to life without making it a permanent one. Right now, businesses and governments are tending to hedge their bets by making all proclamations last for only 2-4 weeks at a time, with a promise to update or extend if necessary. But I think at this point it’s clear to people that any measures we take are in place until this is over. They are here for the duration.

My gym is closed for the duration. My volunteer work won’t happen for the duration. I can’t see any live theater for the duration. Holiday parties are cancelled for the duration. I probably won’t be able to visit my parents in person for the duration.

It’s a sad thought, all these things I won’t have for an unknowable period of time. But it’s also helpful to remember that they won’t last forever. Back when I was studying to be an actor, the best piece of advice I got was to always have something fun planned for after an audition. That way, this one worrying, stressful event didn’t feel like the last thing I’d ever do. Oftentimes it was as simple as promising myself I would get an Orange Julius on the way home.

This morning I started making a list of everything I’m going to do AFTER the duration. Clients I will followup with, friends I will get coffee with, places I will visit. I don’t know when this list will come to fruition, but it’s nice having it. It’s nice remembering that this won’t be forever. Like any war, there will be damage along the way that cannot be undone. But there is an end, even if it isn’t in sight.

I’m fortunate that many aspects of my work can be done over video chat, since so much of what I do is talking people through their problems, and how they talk about their clutter is as telling for me as seeing it. Still, in a time when everyone is suddenly trapped at home with their stuff, I wish I could be there with them to sort through it in person. Unlike in 1918, we’re lucky to live in a time in which being isolated at home doesn’t mean being cut off. I’m still here for all of you via phone and video, whether that’s as a client or just as a friend. And I intend to keep writing, so if you have anything in particular you’ve been struggling with let me know, and perhaps I can turn it into a blog post to help others as well.

We’re here for each other for the duration. And on the other side of the war.

On New Year’s Resolutions

By now, more than 80% of New Year’s Resolutions have been abandoned. If yours was among them, here are some possible reasons why:

1) You didn’t actually want it

Perhaps you set a “should” resolution – something you think you should be doing that you don’t actually want for yourself. It’s very hard to achieve a goal you have no genuine interest in.

2) It was too ambitious

If you set your sights too high, you will very quickly find yourself failing to meet expectations and getting discouraged. Even if your big, ambitious goal is reasonable long-term, it may have been too much for one year.

3) It wasn’t challenging

When it comes to goals, too easy can be just as bad as too hard. If there’s no challenge to your goal it’s unlikely that the process will be very rewarding. Goals that are too easy to accomplish are also easy to put off, and easy to forget about.

4) You didn’t turn your goal into actions

If you set a goal to lose weight, but don’t plan any changes to your diet or activity levels, it will almost certainly not happen. You are what you do every day, which means that if you want to make a big change, there needs to be something you are doing every day or every week that is moving you in that direction.

5) You weren’t prepared for hurdles

A plan that only works if you never get sick or have a stressful work week or go on vacation is destined to fail. For a resolution to work there should be a plan or cushion to accommodate the unexpected (but ultimately foreseeable) events in life.

___

The thing about the New Year is that it’s arbitrary. Today is just as good a day to start a new habit as January 1st was. So if you’ve already abandoned your New Year’s Resolution, you still have a chance to start fresh. Figure out what went wrong last time, create a plan for how you’ll do things differently, and pick a new starting date.

How does tomorrow sound?

Your Mission:

If you’ve got a failed resolution you want to revive, ask yourself the following questions:

  1. Do I actually want this, or do I just think I’m supposed to want it?
  2. Is the goal I set for myself both realistic AND challenging?
  3. What is the thing I’m going to do either every day or every week that will get me to my goal?
  4. When and how will I check-in to see if I’m still on track?
  5. What will I do when I get off track?

A Problem for Another Day

Margaret was a small business owner who worked and saw clients in her home office. She generally kept the space clean and inviting, but she wasn’t happy with how her set up was working and hired me to help fix it. Much of what we did to improve Margaret’s office was simple: rearranging furniture to improve workflow, recycling unneeded paperwork, and adjusting storage areas to solve recurring annoyances.

The real revelation with Margaret came when we moved away from her desk and onto her lesser-used cupboards. I often find that people focus on the mess they interact with regularly, but disregard the clutter that’s been there for years. Margaret opened the first cupboard, pulled out a few binders, and began sorting them into the established piles for recycle, donation, etc. She was moving through things pretty fast, but there was a large box inside the cupboard she wasn’t touching. I asked her about it.

“That is everything that’s left from my old job at the University. I was a teacher there for several years,” she said. “But that’s a whole big project. That’s a project for another day. Not today.” She went back to sorting the binder in her lap.

“So,” I asked, “What’s going to be different on that day?”

She stopped her work with the binder and looked at me blankly, so I tried to explain my question.

“If you think it should be done later I totally understand,” I said. “Maybe something else needs to happen first, maybe you want to use your time with me differently. Those are all good reasons. I’m just curious what will be different on that day.”

“You’re saying we should do this now,” Margaret said, looking at the box. “You’re right, we should do this now.”

I wasn’t trying to trick her. I took Margaret at her word that this wasn’t a project for today, and I wanted to help her create a plan for the future. Oftentimes projects linger in the back of our minds because we haven’t thought about what our first step will be. I was just trying to find Margaret’s first step.

But Margaret, like so many of my clients, knew her own problems better than I did. She took my innocent question and saw the truth reflected back at her. We began to sort through the box.

It had been three years since Margaret left her job at the university. She sorted through the papers and realized instantly that everything she actually wanted to keep was already stored digitally on her computer. Nearly all of the paper went in the recycle, with a few binders moved over to her office supplies to be repurposed. Then we got to the gifts.

“I taught a lot of international students,” she explained. “So they would give me these little presents.” It was a cute collection of dolls, bowls, and fans.

“Do you have good memories of these students?” I asked.

“Honestly I don’t remember most of them,” she said. “It was just a thing they did, to give gifts to teachers.”

It’s hard to get rid of gifts of any kind, but I suggested to Margaret that she consider Marie Kondo’s philosophy: the real gift from the students was them giving her something. It was their expression of gratitude that mattered. Once received, it was up to Margaret to decide if she liked these objects enough to keep them.

“Do you like any of them?” I asked. “Do any of them remind you of your favorite students?”

“Not really, not anymore,” she said. “Maybe…” She poked around the pile and pulled out a few small items. She put the rest in a bowl and handed them to me to put in the donation pile behind me. The cupboard was empty. It took less than ten minutes. Margaret sighed in relief and disbelief.

I explained to Margaret that her problem, ultimately, was that she’d developed a relationship with that box of university stuff. Her relationship was one of denial and deferral. And the longer she put off sorting through the box, the more problems she imagined were inside it. She knew there were gifts, so she imagined them all to be the important kind that meant a lot to her. She knew there were papers, so she endowed them with all her years of teaching. That box became equal to that job in her mind. Her whole career at the school was in there. It’s understandable that she thought it was too big a project for us to tackle on that particular Sunday. It was too big to tackle on any day. That’s why she kept putting it off for another day. Another Day is the longest day of the year, the day when absolutely everything can be accomplished. Unfortunately, the only day you ever have is today. Another Day never comes.

Inbox Zero: Emails You Keep as Reminders

We’ve all had an email that we left in the inbox to serve as a reminder for something. Perhaps we even marked it as unread, thinking that would bring more attention to it. Maybe it’s a task we still need to do, maybe we can’t deal with it until next week, or maybe we’re worried the other person won’t get back to us in time and we’ll have to nudge them again. Regardless of the reason, we leave the email in the inbox as a reminder so we won’t forget.

The problem is, this is the exact opposite of how reminders are supposed to work. The brain is triggered by novelty (things that are new or different), and the brain adapts to repetition (things it sees all the time). The longer an email stays in your inbox, the more often you’ll choose to ignore it, the more it will become part of the scenery.

In contrast, a good reminder shows up when and where it is most useful. If an email can’t be dealt with until next Monday, that’s when you want it to appear in your inbox again. If it’s related to something you have to do at work tomorrow, that’s where you should see it. If you want to get those reminder emails out of your inbox, you’ll need to find a better system to remind of you things. Here are some of my favorite systems:

1. Boomerang for Gmail or Outlook

Boomerang is a free program (as a Chrome Extension for Gmail or in the Microsoft AppStore for Outlook) with two main features: 1) It gives you a Send Later button, allowing you to write emails now that won’t be sent until a specific time in the future, and 2) It has a boomerang function that will remove an email from your inbox but send it back to you under certain circumstances, such as “send this back to me if they don’t respond in two days”.

2. Calendars Reminders

In addition to adding date-specific reminders to your calendar like any other event, most calendar programs have the ability to set reminders for existing events. For example in my early days of employee reviews, I would set my Google calendar to email me 10 days before an employee’s anniversary so I could set up their annual review.

3. Task Management Apps

Any task manager worth using will include reminders as part of the system. My favorite is Asana. I can create a task, set a date for it, and throw it on the very bottom of my “Later” list, hidden from sight. A week before the due date Asana will automatically bring it into my “Upcoming” section, and on the due date it will show up in “Today.” This means I can throw any long-term tasks into Asana and forget about them, confident that I’ll be reminded when it’s time to do them.

4. Waiting Folder/Label

In my previous accounting job I often ended up with small issues that needed to be reconciled but were temporarily on someone else’s plate. For these things, I had a Waiting folder. Items that were currently someone else’s responsibility went in the Waiting folder, and I went through the folder every Friday to see who I needed to nudge. The key to making a Waiting Folder work is scheduling a regular time to look through it, otherwise items may get forgotten permanently.

5. Siri / Okay Google / Cortana

The majority of modern phones and computers have some kind of built-in digital assistant, and this feature can be great for capturing thoughts for later. I use Siri on my iPhone, and I’ll often tell her things like, “Remind me to email Brian when I get home” or “Remind me about tote bags tonight at 7PM”.

You may find yourself needing to use several different systems to account for all the different types of reminders you need in your life. I’m currently using four of the five I listed above. I would recommend starting with the system that feels most intuitive, and exploring the other options as needed.

We leave emails in our inbox to nag us, to keep being a bother until we finally do something about them. But if we can’t take action on it right now, that nagging is just another form of distraction.

Your Mission:

  1. Choose the reminder system(s) that seems most appropriate to your life and your emails
  2. Identify 1-3 emails you’ve left in you inbox as reminders
  3. Ask yourself “When and where will I need to see this next?” and replace each email with a reminder
  4. Check back in a week to see if more reminder emails have appeared, and if your current system(s) can accommodate them

When Life Maintenance Collides with Life Events

I recently worked with a client on her home office. She explained that the space used to work quite well for her – she could pay her bills, invoice clients, do her writing, etc. It was perfect. Then she got caught up in a legal dispute, needed surgery that limited her mobility for months, and had an existing medical condition worsen. On top of all that, her cat died. For about a year it was just one thing after another. Pretty soon her office wasn’t perfect anymore. Things stacked up. Paperwork wasn’t filed. The desk got covered in junk. She found herself avoiding the room completely. By the time I got there, she didn’t even want to go into the office if she didn’t have to.

It happens to everyone at some point. An interruption or major life event happens, and slowly the parts of our lives that used to work stop working. The problem is that once things have gone off the rails, we can’t bring them back using our old habits. Asking your maintenance systems to fix a year of built-up stress is like asking a handyman to build you a new house. The recurring processes and habits of daily life, such as dealing with the mail quickly or getting the desk clean at least once a week, only work so long as they keep moving. Interrupt those systems and habits for long enough and the machine gets clogged: the stack of bills is so tall you just avoid it, the package of paper towels begins to live on the floor. Your old systems can’t run anymore, and the clog only gets worse.

The life events that cause these interruptions don’t have to be huge. I just experienced one myself in these last few months. I had been blogging consistently during the summer, and I’d settled into a good routine of posting every two weeks. I had set up my writing program with ideas for upcoming topics, I’d color-coded it to ensure there was variety, and I had a procedure for doing final edits, posting, and promoting. But November was coming, and with it came National Novel Writing Month. I knew I wouldn’t want to be working on blog posts while also trying to write 1667 words every day for NaNo, so I tried to do a little extra work in October to prep the November posts. But this was an interruption in the system. It didn’t fit with the workflow I’d established, and I was only able to get one November post written and scheduled ahead of time. I decided one post in November would be fine, and went ahead with NaNo as planned.

But once November was over, I was burnt out on writing. That burnout kept me from jumping back into my old blogging habits. The system was interrupted, the old maintenance habits were clogged, and suddenly it was January 1st and I hadn’t posted anything in over a month. I was disappointed and embarrassed.

It was around this time that my client, fed up with her unusable office space, called me. She couldn’t say how or why it had gotten so bad, just that it was a big enough source of stress in her life that she needed help. And it wasn’t until I articulated the cause of the problem to her that I was able to see it so clearly in myself. What she needed was an outside professional to help her clear out the physical spaces that were getting in the way of her routines and habits. What I needed was to be reminded that I am susceptible to the same traps my clients are, and that I don’t need to be ashamed of that anymore than they do.

The skills and habits of maintenance won’t pull you out of the hole, just like they couldn’t pull me or my client out. We both needed something a bit bigger, a bit more drastic to happen in order to reset the system and get the machine working again. If there’s an area in your life that used to work but isn’t anymore, it might be because some big event got in the way. You need to match a big event with a big response. I can’t tell you for certain what that response is, but I can tell you how it starts: Acknowledge that being interrupted is not the same as failing. You can’t control what interrupts you, only what you do to get back on track.

Minimalism as Another Thing to Sell to Us

Earlier this year, writer Grace Lee released a video essay called “Kondo-Culture: The Fall of the House of Stuff.” It’s a fascinating dive into how marketing and societal expectations effect our relationships with our homes and belongings, and how even the lack of something can be sold to you if marketed correctly. I’ve heard similar sentiments a lot lately, warning against the commodification of minimalism. For people like myself who find a lot of peace and satisfaction in simplicity, it’s important to remember that happiness doesn’t come from chasing an aesthetic. It’s okay to enjoy the beauty of minimalism of course, just so long as it doesn’t become yet another design fad engineered to make you feel bad about yourself. There’s no inherent virtue in a house that looks like a Pinterest board or Ikea catalog, and no reason anything in your home needs to look a certain way unless it genuinely makes you happy to see it like that.

You can watch Lee’s full video here:

Why I’m the Last Organizational Product You’ll Buy

I think a lot of people assume one of the main things I do is recommend specific organizational products to my clients. While I certainly can make purchasing suggestions, I rarely need to because most of my clients have plenty of organizational products and furniture pieces in their homes already. They have tried to buy their way out of this problem many times before, and it is only now, as a last resort, that they’ve finally decided to buy an expert.

Don’t get me wrong, I love The Container Store as much as the next highly leveraged professional. And there are times when the right product is the perfect and only answer to your organizational problem. Shoes, papers, pot lids, sewing notions – some things just need a good storage solution or they will never feel organized and useful.

But too often people assume a product can save them from a deeper problem. Nothing you can buy at Storables will help you say goodbye to your grandmother’s scarves. There are no specialty racks or drawers that will change how frequently your spouse does laundry. Ikea doesn’t have a drawer unit for hobbies you never seem to get around to.

What’s worse is when these same products prove useless and end up stuffed into a hall closet or piled up in the garage, clients feel guilt and shame. They wasted all that money on something that didn’t work, and now they just have more stuff.

I don’t need to recommend products because everything we need is usually in the house already. The good products can be repurposed and used as the base for the newly cleaned space. The bad products are just another form of clutter to let go of – along with the guilt of buying them in the first place.

Time Adds Value – But Mostly in Our Minds

The longer you have something, the more valuable it feels. It doesn’t matter why you’ve had it, how much you’ve needed it, or if it’s actually increased in value since the beginning. Time itself makes objects feel like they are worth more than they are, despite the fact that time is also the primary reason most items lose their value.

Sunk Cost

Some objects seem to gain value over time because of the Sunk Cost Fallacy. If an object has been in your house a long time, if you’ve been cleaning it, moving it, and maintaining it for years, it feels like it must be important. After all, that would be a lot of effort and resources to expend on something worthless, right? Because you’ve been waiting for so long for the day when the object finally adds value to your life, the value you imagine it to have grows bigger over time. You keep it because you are hoping to get back in value what you’ve already spent in other resources, even if that hope isn’t based in reality.

Associative Sentimentality

The second way time adds value is through what I call Associative Sentimentality. Because you feel nostalgic for certain periods of time in your life, you ascribe value to any objects you acquired or used during those years. Perhaps it’s a generic t-shirt you wore all the time in college, or a silly present you got from a student while you were working as a teacher abroad. The objects themselves aren’t particularly great and you don’t necessarily like them very much, but because you associate them with that time they feel as valuable as the memories themselves. I should clarify that this is not the same as more traditional sentimental objects, such as the t-shirt from your favorite band you got at the best concert you’ve ever been to, or a gift from your spouse on your first anniversary that meant a lot to you. There’s nothing wrong with keeping sentimental objects, the difference is whether or not the object itself it meaningful, or if it just vaguely reminds you of a meaningful time.

Acquired Tradition

The final and most complex way time adds value is that it turns objects into traditions. Typically traditions are useful because they give us a sense of continuity through time, a feeling that things are right in the world, that society is functioning as it ought to be. They connect us to the past, to our families and communities, and they keep us tied to our important values amidst changing times. And sometimes a tradition built around an object can do the same. For example when my family is celebrating someone’s birthday, that person eats off a bright red plate that says “You Are Special Today”. The plate goes on top of the stack of plates for the buffet line, which means the birthday person also goes first in line. It’s a great tradition that means a lot to us, so much so that nearly everyone in the family owns at least one of these red plates, just in case they’re the one hosting the birthday dinner.

But traditions can also keep us stuck in old and outdated patterns, clinging to things that no longer matter and looking for meaning where there is only habit. This is often the case for objects that have turned into tradition. Does the painting above the fireplace feel important because you’ve loved it since your childhood, or merely because you’ve been seeing it since you were a child? Is the clock actually important to your family, or just exceedingly familiar? Even ordinary objects can fall into this category, like the pen cup that’s been on your desk for years or the lamp you keep on your bedside table. These may have only entered your house by chance, but over the years they start to feel inherently important.

Your Mission

Here are three questions to ask to help determine if an object is truly valuable, or if it’s falling into one of the above categories:

1) If this object disappeared tomorrow, would I make an effort to replace it immediately?

2) Do I love this specific object, or just the thing it reminds me of? Are there other, better objects that I own that already remind me of that thing?

3) If I moved into a new home and the object couldn’t go where it normally goes (above the fireplace, on my desk, etc), is it worth putting somewhere else? Where? Would I ever consider moving it there now (in my current home)?